HetaFrozen: A Frozen Parody
by ImaginaryParchment
Summary: The "Hetalia" characters replace the "Frozen" characters in this parody that's sure to make you laugh out loud. Includes song parodies as well, so prepare yourselves! The events will be altered, but most of the scenes from "Frozen" will be here, plus more. :D RATED T FOR LANGUAGE. (Germany/GB!Italy, Spain/GB!Romano, Prussia/GB!Italy. FrUK if you squint a lot. :))
1. Do You Wanna Make Some Pasta?

**Disclaimer: I don't own "Frozen" or "Hetalia". :)**

* * *

HETAFROZEN: A "FROZEN" PARODY

_A BRIEF EXPLANATION…_

_Basically, this is a parody of "Frozen" using Hetalia characters. It will stick to the main plot of the movie, though without snow magic and other minor changes. (You'll see. ;))_

_The Italies will star as the main characters, with other Hetalian characters filling in for their similar "Frozen" counterparts or merely become new characters. I will not be using the genderbends of their names, however, instead inventing names based off of their nation names or real names. A list of the names with the related character will be provided at the end of each chapter._

_Also, dear friends of mine came up with the parody song lyrics, not me. Blame them if you die from laughter like I nearly did. ;D_

_Enjoy! :D_

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

Once upon a time, in the far away kingdom of Italia, there lived two princesses. One, the younger one, was rather naïve and gullible. The second, the older one, was brash and prone to swearing.

Still, the younger one loved her older sister, and the older one ignored her younger sister, and everyone was (mostly) happy.

The two girls were orphans, and they stayed in the castle together, locked away from the other kingdoms as per the request of their paranoid-but-deceased parents.

* * *

A young, brown-haired girl with a single curl paced across her bedroom, appearing to be rather frustrated. "Go away, Feli!" she yelled waspishly at the white door.

Feli, her younger sister who looked quite similar, pouted outside of her older sister's bedroom.

"Do you wanna make some pasta?  
There's no time to wait  
I never see you anymore,  
I blame that Spanish matador!  
Why can't he go away?  
We used to be close sisters,  
but I'm hungry now.  
Can you make me some pasta please?  
Do you wanna make some pasta?  
It doesn't have to be pasta!"

The older sister, Roma, slammed open the door. "No! I told you, go away!" she shouted, and slammed the door shut.

"Ok, bye," Feli said sadly. She walked away from the door that was always shut in her face. _Roma used to be so nice, but now she won't even cook pasta!_

When Feli asked the servants why Roma wouldn't make pasta with her, they said that they blamed pooberty, what ever that was.

But every day of every year, Feli continued to ask Roma whether she wanted to cook pasta, which annoyed Roma so much that she turned down Feli every single time.

"Do you want to make some pasta?  
Or drive around in our car?  
I want to spend some time with you  
but all you ever want to do  
is talk to Mister Spain!  
I'm getting hungry...  
I need some food.  
I think I'm about to cry!  
So do you wanna make some pasta?  
It doesn't have to be pasta!"

"DAMMIT, GO AWAY!"

The only time Roma would come out of her room would be to talk with the other kids, making Feli quite sad. Roma's best friend was Spain, some young Spanish prince from another kingdom. She always hung out with him instead of Feli.

But on one suspiciously cold night, Roma finally came out of her room when Feli was around. Feli was so excited that she forced Roma to cook pasta with her.

"PASTA PASTA PASTA PASTA!" Feli chanted merrily as she got out the pot. "Roma, can you get the pasta noodles?"

Roma sighed, irritated. She walked out of the kitchen – and, being Roma, got lost. She opened random doors, and eventually found a box of pasta sitting on a purple cushion. Grabbing it, Roma walked briskly back in the direction the kitchen was probably in.

"Here's your damn pasta," Roma said harshly, slamming the box on the counter.

"Grazi!" Feli chirped. She dumped the entire box of pasta noodles into the pot of boiling water.

A few noodles bounced off the side of the pot. "Here," Roma grumbled, tossing a pasta at Feli's head. Oddly, this caused Feli to collapse.

"What the hell?!" Roma shouted, rushing towards her sister and slapping her. "Get back up, Feli! Seriously!"

Feli didn't stir.

Roma was clueless as to what to do. But then she remembered the stories their mother used to tell them...

What was it? Incredibly handsome magical men who lived in the forest and had the powers to heal people?

_Sounds legit._

Dragging her sister, Roma dumped her into the beautiful bright red car.

* * *

_Roma - Romano_

_Feli - Italy_

_Spain (mentioned) - Spain_

* * *

**And there's the first part of "HetaFrozen"! Let me know what you think! :D**

**Thanks for reading! :)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	2. The Hot Magical Men

**Disclaimer: "Hetalia" and "Frozen" are not mine. :P**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

As little ten year-old Roma drove out of the castle with her unconscious sister in the backseat, the guards didn't even blink. That's how good at their job they were.

Feli mumbled something about pasta from the backseat, causing Roma to grit her teeth and press the gas pedal harder.

As annoying as her sister was, Roma couldn't let her die.

When they finally reached the outskirts of the Magical Forest of Magic, Roma hit the brakes. Going as fast as she could to save her sister, Roma dragged her out of the car and hefted her all the way to the forest's center.

By the time she was able to pause walking, Roma was sweating buckets. Dropping Feli unceremoniously on the ground, she shouted for help. "Hey! Freakin' magical men! I need your freakin' help!"

There was no answer.

"DAMN YOU!" she shouted, kicking a large rock. Roma hissed and hopped away, clutching her now sore foot.

Suddenly, five young men came into view with a shower of blue sparkles. They stood there, looking handsome and being cool in their grass skirts and crystal necklaces. And flower crowns.

Plus they had nice abs.

"Uh…" Roma had no idea what to say. "Uh… My sister's dying… I think…" _Their hotness is too distracting!_

"I'll look at her," said one man quietly, the one with a strange cross in his hair. "Where is she?"

Roma pointed at Feli, who was slumped against a rock and drooling, as well as mumbling something about pasta.

The man with the cross in his hair walked over to Feli and waved his hands over her in some complicated looking formation. The one with the weird hair and the one with glasses scooted closer as well to observe.

"Who are you?" Roma blurted out, eyes glued to the strange ritual.

"That's Norge," whispered the shortest man to Roma with a serene smile. "I'm Finn, that fellow with the odd hair is Den, the man with the glasses is Sve, and the sort of grumpy looking one is Ice."

Roma looked at Finn. "What's Norge doing?" she asked.

Finn shrugged and nudged her with his elbow. "Why don't you go ask?"

The girl lurched forward a few steps and glared at the blond. But she continued and walked over to Norge and Feli. "What's going on?" she demanded of the magical man.

"What did you hit your sister with?" he asked Roma, ignoring her question as he continued his arm waving.

"A piece of freakin' pasta," Roma answered, crossing her arms.

Finn came up from behind her, looking worried. "Not the Pasta Box of Bad Things?"

"The what?"

"The Pasta Box of Bad Things is an ancient relic that when thrown at a person, kills them within the hour," Den told Roma casually. "Yeah, not good. We thought it'd be safe in the castle, but apparently not even with the beer. That's where we left it," he explained with a grin.

Norge waved his hands around again, and this time, you could see blue shimmering around his hands and Feli's head, so it didn't look like some awkward dance move.

"Luckily, the Pasta hit her in the head. Its lethal powers can be drained from there. If you hit her in the heart, she would have died on the spot," Sve explained.

Roma looked at Feli, who now looked healthier than she had before. "Thank you, Norge," she said grudgingly. "And, uh, all of you hot men." She blushed and clamped her hand over her mouth. Roma couldn't believe she'd actually said that.

He nodded. "You're welcome." Norge stepped away from Roma's little sister and stood with the other men.

"I'm actually feeling cold right now," complained Den, but Norway choked him with his crystal necklace. Sve and Finn acted as if this were completely normal.

Ice spoke his first words that night. "Be careful, Roma," he warned her.

Before she could ask what the hell that meant, the five incredibly handsome men disappeared in a shower of blue sparkles.

* * *

After that night, Roma still ignored Feli, much to Feli's disappointment. Roma also stopped talking to the nice Spanish prince, Spain.

But Roma didn't want another Pasta Box of Bad Things incident. Because knowing Roma, anything could happen.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Spain (mentioned) - Spain_

* * *

**The Nordics are awesome. XD If you were confused, no, they are not trolls. They are just extremely good-looking magical men. :D**

**Thanks for all of the reviews! Glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter! :)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	3. For the First Time in Forever

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia or Frozen. My friend, L. Zydenora, made up the song parodies. :)**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

As the years passed, Roma eventually had to become queen. Against her will.

Becoming queen came with responsibility…and she would have to start allowing someone to court her.

Ew.

"I don't want to become queen!" Roma protested as the dressmaker and her friend attempted to force her into another coronation dress.

"Nonsense," chirped Ms. Pol, the dressmaker. "Becoming queen would be, like, fabulous! You'd get to wear these, like, pretty dresses every day! Right, Liet?"

Liet, Pol's friend, nodded. "I think so, Pol," he answered, trying to avoid Roma's flailing hands hitting his face.

Roma rolled her eyes. "I don't freakin' care about dresses! Just get me out of here!"

Pol was surprised, to say the least. "Like, how could you hate dresses?" she gasped, horrified.

Roma pouted and crossed her arms. "When will this be over?" she complained.

Liet gave her a sympathetic smile, knowing full well the exuberance of Pol, his best friend. "Soon enough," he promised.

The almost-queen groaned.

Feli walked down the halls slowly, a beam stretched across her face. "Today, we open the gates to other kingdoms!" she said for the twentieth time that day. "I'm so excited!"

The large gates of Italia had forever been closed to foreigners, as Roma and Feli's parents were kind of paranoid of the other kingdoms attempting to take over Italia. But on Roma's coronation day, they would be forced to open the gates.

(Their parents were dead, anyway. Roma figured that if she wanted to keep the gates open, she could do so as queen. So maybe being queen would have its perks.)

Feli twirled, showing off her pretty blue dress.

"For the first time in forever," she realized.

"I'll be happy  
things are right!"

Roma stuck her head out the window to shout at her sister.

"Will you shut your face already?  
Your singing had me up **all night**!"

"I hope people don't hate me!" Feli sang, ignoring her sister.  
"Though I am somewhat disliked...  
But for the first time in forever  
I'll get to eat pasta all night!"

"You already do that," Roma muttered under her breath, slamming the window shut.

Feli walked out of the castle with a skip in her step and a smile on her face. And her eyes open, for once.

"Hello!" she shouted to a tall, solemn blond haired man with a curious scar on his face. He was on the other side of the bridge with a short-haired girl, maybe his sister?

The girl with him answered. "Hello to you too!" she called back with a laugh. "Sorry, my brother can be rather grumpy!" Her brother rolled his eyes at this.

Feli assured her it was ok before wandering into town. She looked at all the people and took the familiar yet new sights in.

Until she got down to the docks, and bumped in a tall man riding on a horse. Or rather, she bumped into the horse.

"Watch where you're going! You bumped into the awesome me!" the man snapped.

"Sorry!" she said hastily, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry! Don't hurt me!"

The man sighed irritably. "Stop being a sissy," he ordered, annoyed. He stopped, and Feli could hear him lean forward in his saddle. "Wait, who're you, O Unawesome One?"

She sniffled and wiped her nose. "I'm Princess Feli, of this kingdom."

He swung off of his horse, and Feli could see that he had strangely white hair and sharp red eyes.

"You're hot," Feli told him outright and with an innocent smile, tears mysteriously gone.

The man didn't even blink. "I get that a lot." He extended a hand for Feli to shake. "My name is the Awesome Prince Gil. I come from an awesome northern kingdom you probably haven't ever heard of."

Feli shook his hand enthusiastically. "I'm Princess Feli. I come from this kingdom. I think you're hot."

Prince Gil laughed an odd laugh that sounded strangely like "Kesesese~!" He let go of her hand. "The awesome me will see you later, perhaps?"

"Yeah!" Feli chirped. "At the ball, maybe?"

Gil nodded. "Yeah, probably." He gave her a grin. "Save a dance for me, ja?"

"Sure!" Feli turned around and skipped back towards the palace, happy that she had made a new friend.

* * *

Roma walked up the aisle to where the ceremony director would officially coronate her. She was nervous, however, and she visibly shook as she accepted the weight and staff.

She was so nervous that she almost dropped the sacred items.

Never mind.

She _did_ drop the sacred items.

Much to her embarrassment, the crowd started tittering. Roma turned bright red. Someone from the back shouted with a laugh, "YOU LOOK LIKE A RED TOMATO!" which only cause more laughter. She glared at the man – some brown-haired green-eyed freak prince. He looked oddly familiar, though…

Roma picked up the weight and staff and finished the ceremony without any more interruptions. As soon as the ceremony director finished, she placed the objects back on the cushion and glared at the crowd, who died down after a bit.

Except the brown-haired green-eyed prince freak was still laughing. Marching down the aisle and almost tripping over her beautiful new golden dress, she slapped him. Which was pretty easy, considering he was in the aisle seat.

Without giving him a second glance, Roma made her way out of the hall and back up to her bedroom.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Pol - Poland :D  
Liet - Lithuania  
Prince Gil - Prussia  
Blonde siblings - Netherlands and Belgium_

_Last chapter (sorry, forgot :)):  
Norge - Norway  
Sve - Sweden  
Den - Denmark  
Finn - Finland  
Ice - Iceland_

* * *

**Part three! :D**

**Thanks to all my reviewers! Glad you guys find this amusing! XD**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	4. The Ball - Part One

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia or Frozen. :D**

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR

Roma stood by the throne, watching as all of the guests twirled around the ball room. Feli bounded up to her, waving and smiling at the crowd. "Hi, Big Sister!" she chirped.

The newly crowned girl-queen groaned. "Why are you so freakin' annoying?"

A man dressed in a purple suit with coattails walked up to Roma and Feli with an amused look on his face and a happy looking woman on his arm. "I don't believe that's the proper language for a lady," the man said in an odd-sounding voice. He stuck out a white-gloved hand. "My name is Lord Roderich Edelstein. It's a pleasure to meet my new queen."

Roma rolled her eyes and sighed. "Whatever." She shook his hand briefly.

The lady stuck out her own white-gloved. "Hello, Queen Roma! I am Lady Eveta Hédévary, Roderich's fiancée."

Roma shook her hand briefly as well. "You seem excited," she observed, a strangely accusing tone to her voice.

Eveta grinned, not taking the girl's comment to heart. "Your palace is awfully big and beautiful!" She smoothed down her puffy green dress and looked at pretty much everything in sight. "Of course," the lady added, noting her fiancé's upset expression. "Roderich's mansion is nice as well."

Feli took Eveta by the arm. "I can give you a tour!" she offered ecstatically.

Eveta beamed. "That would be lovely!"

The two girls wandered off, giggling, as Feli pointing out random pieces of art.

Roma and Roderich stared after them, not sure of what to do. They stood in stony silence for a few minutes.

Roderich suddenly looked at Roma. "Oh, Your Highness, there was a man who wanted to speak to you."

The new queen looked suspicious. "Really? Who?"

"Some prince from a different kingdom – Western Europe or somewhere of that sort."

Roma looked unimpressed. "Fine, then." She lifted her gold skirts and prepared to step forward. When Lord Roderich gave her an odd look, she raised an eyebrow. "Well? Where is this damn prince?"

Roderich blinked to clear his head. "Right. This way." He muttered something about it not being appropriate for a lady to go to a man instead of the man going to the lady, but Roma honestly didn't give a crap.

After parting the crowd, Roderich led Roma to a man dressed completely in a rich red color. "Prince Spain, here is Queen Roma."

_Spain?! What the hell was Spain doing here?!_

It was rather embarrassing, but Roma had had a crush on Spain since she was little. He was so nice and took such great care of her that it was hard for her _not_ to like him.

But she had stopped talking to him after the Pasta Box of Bad Things incident. So why was he here now? Manners and common decency? Or had he just wanted to see her?

Despite her aloof and slightly bored expression, Roma's heart was beating 120 miles per hour.

Spain turned around from the small group he was talking with. "Oh! Hola, Lord Roderich." He smiled at Roma. "And hola, Queen Roma. Long time no see, si?"

Roma turned bright red. "You were the one who called me a freakin' tomato during my coronation!" she accused him.

Roderich raised an eyebrow. "Prince Spain, that was you?"

He nodded. "Oh, si." The prince walked over to the refreshments table and selected a small, red, juicy tomato. "You did look like a tomato, Roma," he informed her, green eyes twinkling. He tossed her the tomato. "You do right now, too."

Roma snatched the tomato in mid-air, clutching the red fruit tightly. "No, I don't!" she protested, avoiding eye contact with Spain.

Roderich walked away slowly. _My work here is done_, he thought. _Hopefully, Italia and Espagne will have a strong alliance formed by marriage, and Italia will become an even greater kingdom!_

Spain and Roma didn't even know the lord had left. "Careful with the tomato," Spain warned the new queen. "It'll explode all over you if you squeeze it any harder."

Roma glared at him. "Like _you're_ an expert on tomatoes."

Spain shrugged. "My kingdom's main export is tomatoes. I am sort of an expert."

Roma glared at him. "I hate you so much!" she yelled, punching his arm, then recoiling. "Why the hell is your arm so freakin' hard?" she hissed, rubbing her sore hand.

The other man didn't even blink. "Aw, Roma, you're too cute," he chided, pinching her cheek.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Lord Roderich - Austria  
Lady Eveta - Hungary  
Prince Spain - Spain_

* * *

**Since the ball is a major part of the story, I've split it into two sections. This is part one, part two will come (hopefully) soon. :)**

**Also, my mom took away my computer, so I'll have to write on my iPod. :( Updates will probably be once per week from now on...**

**Thanks for reading! :D Thanks to all my reviewers! :D Special thank you to IrishMaid for catching that mistake I made in the last chapter. ;D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	5. The Ball - Part Two

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia or Frozen. :D**

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

Meanwhile, Feli had just finished giving Eveta a nice long tour of the Italian castle. After thanking Feli multiple times while commenting on how cute she was, Eveta left to go find Roderich.

Feli wandered back into the hall by herself, walking slowly over to the grand display of traditional Italia food, like pasta. She had just finished forking a nice, big pile of spaghetti onto her plate when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Mhm?" Feli tried to answer through a mouthful of the delicious pasta.

"Could the Awesome Me have the next dance?"

Feli slowly turned around, face stuffed with delicious spaghetti. She swallowed quickly. "Ciao, Prince Gil!"

Prince Gil cackled his weird laugh. "So, care to dance?" Not waiting for an answer, he dragged her over to the dance floor.

* * *

Roma was also being dragged onto the dance floor against her will. "Let – me – go!" Roma hissed through her teeth furiously. "Damn bastard!"

Spain merely laughed it off and let go of Roma's wrist, sinking into a bow. "Might I have this dance, Your Highness?" he asked in a mock solemn voice.

Roma looked around desperately, hoping that she could get away without making a scene.

A young man with a beard, shaggy blonde hair, and twinkling blue eyes popped up. "Bonjour!" he cried, taking hold of Roma's hand and kissing it.

Roma jerked her hand back and shook it furiously. "What the hell is your problem?!"

The young man bowed. "Your Highness, I am Duke Francis Bonnefoy. I bring glad tidings, and wish you a happy coronation day."

"That's nice," Roma snapped. "Now go the hell away, creepy bastard!"

"Which one?" asked Spain innocently.

Francis began to dance some weird dance. "I am a talented dancer, I assure you," he told Roma confidently. "Look at me! I am like a magnificent peacock!"

To be honest, he looked more like a mentally disturbed turkey.

Roma scooted ever so closer to Spain, hoping Francis would just leave her alone.

As if the situation couldn't get any freakin' worse, a short blonde-haired man with the strangest eyebrows popped out of the crowd and tackled Francis. "BLOODY FROG!" the strange man shrieked, punching every inch of the other as best he could.

Spain hurried forward and gingerly peeled the man off of Francis. "Whoa, Arte, what has Francis done now?"

"More like the fact that he's breathing the same bloody air as me," Arte grumbled, rolling his sleeves up.

Roma stomped her foot sharply. "That's enough!" she yelled, causing the orchestra playing in the background to falter and stop.

Francis whipped a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at his bleeding nose. "Merci beaucoup, my dear lady."

The queen rolled her eyes. "Just make sure you don't tear the freakin' ball room to pieces."

"Like you did Feli's curtain's?" inquired Spain with a hint of a smile.

This set Roma off - her face burned bright red and her brown eyes flashed in fury. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" she screamed at Spain before turning around and marching out of the hall.

"Wait!" she heard Spain call. "Roma, I was just joking!"

Roma ignored him and stomped all the way down to the wine cellar, fuming all the while. _I HATE ALL THOSE DAMN BASTARDS! _she thought furiously. _Why can't they leave me the hell alone?_

Sinking into a puddle of gold fabric, Roma sulked in the dark behind a large crate of wine. Feeling around in the dark to get her bearings, Roma's hand glanced upon a strange box. Squinting and holding the box as close to her eyes as she could, she read the label:

THE PASTA BOX OF BAD THINGS

(USE ONLY IF DESPERATE)

_Well, _figured Roma. _I'm pretty desperate._ So she grabbed the box and walked straight back up to the ball.

* * *

"Where's Roma? Have you seen my big sister?" Feli asked Spain worriedly.

The prince shrugged. "Sorry, senorita, she ran out of the ball room ages ago."

Prince Gil stood by Feli – almost protectively. "She probably just wanted some awesome fresh air that is not nearly as awesome as the awesome me," he said lazily.

Francis and Arte were still at each other's throats, yelling about something or another.

"They're a bit-a strange, huh?" Feli mused.

Just then, the doors banged open. Roma strode in confidently, Pasta Box of Bad Things held high in her hand. "Damn you!" she yelled, sticking her hand in the box and throwing a noodle straight at Spain's face.

However, Gil dove just in time and knocked the noodle away with a platter.

Francis gasped. "She nearly murdered mon ami!" he exclaimed. "BITCH! She's a bitch, I tell you!"

"SEIZE THE QUEEN!" roared a nearby guard, vaulting forward with their pointy spears.

Roma turned tail and fled, going 60 mph to flee the castle. _Dammit_, she thought.

"Roma, wait up!" Spain yelped, outrunning the guards to catch up with the queen.

_Dammit_, Roma thought again.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Spain - Spain  
Gil - Prussia  
Francis - France  
Arte - England_

* * *

**Sorry for the late update! I've been swamped in homework recently... x.x**

**Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for all the lovely reviews! :D**

***Update: France is the Duke of Weaseltown, just realized I gave him the title of lord... But that's been fixed now. ;D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	6. Awesome Drama

**Disclaimer: Do I own Hetalia? Nope. Do I own Frozen? Nope.**

***cries***

* * *

CHAPTER SIX

"Roma!" cried Feli. "Roma!"

But the queen and the prince had already disappeared. The guards who had been chasing the pair came back, panting.

"My princess, we were unable to follow the traitors," the Captain of the Guard informed Feli, shouldering his rifle. "They disappeared into the Magical Forest of Magic."

Feli teared up. "Mama Mia, what if they're hurt?" she wailed. "What if they-a starve from lack of pasta?!"

Prince Gil sauntered over to the sobbing princess and wrapped a protective arm around her. "Everything will be fine, darling," he assured her with an air of supremely awesome confidence. "I am awesome. Therefore I am right. That's how awesome I am."

The princess sniffled. "Are you sure?"

"Ja, I know I am awesome."

The Captain of the Guard snorted. "The princess was asking if you were sure her sister, the queen, would be alright."

"Oh," Prince Gil said. "Ja, they should be ok."

Feli wiped away the last of her tears and adjusted her skirts. "I need a horse," she requested as loudly as she dared. "I'm going to find my sister."

Gil looked surprised, his sharp red eyes widening. "Are you sure, darling? It's very dark and cold."

The Captain of the Guard snorted again. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"I'm no Captain," Gil argued, oblivious. "I am a prince – Prince Gil Beilschmidt of the Kingdom of Germany. Do you dare challenge the awesome me and my awesome title?!"

The Captain of the Guard straightened up. "And I am Captain Switz Zwingli of the Kingdom of Italia." He pulled out his rifle and put his finger over the trigger.

Prince Gil drew his sword.

"STOP!" Feli shouted, eyes welling with tears (again). "I need to find my sister! Not to find-a out who the manliest man in the kingdom is!" She paused. "Because we all know that Gil is." (Switz was visibly upset at this.) "So please-a send me a horse!"

Switz glared at Gil, who flipped him the finger discreetly. "As you wish, princess. But who shall attend to the kingdom when you leave?"

Feli grinned wildly. "Prince Gil, of course!"

Switz stiffened, but bowed and left for a horse.

"Wait!" Prince Gil cried dramatically. "Before you leave, darling," he whispered compassionately. "I must ask you an important question."

Feli nodded hesitantly. "Yes, what is it?"

He swept back his cape (which had just appeared for dramatic effect), causing several girls to swoon. "Princess Feli, would you marry me?" he asked, holding up a ring box.

There were several questions Feli should have asked herself at this point.

1. Why did Gil have a ring with him?

2. Does he usually propose to girls on a moment's whim?

3. Why would he propose to her if they'd only known each other for a day?

4. Did he ever actually say he had loved her at any point that day?

Sadly, she asked none.

"Yes!" Feli cried, nearly leaping for joy. "I will marry you, Prince Gil!"

Prince Gil swept her close dramatically (being a very dramatic person) and gave her a passionate kiss, eliciting several _aawww_s from the crowd.

Switz returned with the horse, and seeing that _Gil and Feli were still kissing_, he covered his little sister's eyes. "I HAVE YOUR HORSE," he said loudly. "ARE YOU READY TO DEPART?"

Feli broke away quickly and bounced over to where Switz stood with the horse. "Farewell, Prince Gil!" she shouted, climbing onto the horse. "Take care of my people!"

"Don't worry, I'm awesome!" he assured her.

And with that, Feli took off into the night.

And looked dramatic, at that.

* * *

Meanwhile, Roma was shivering and dying from the cold. "SCREW THIS!" she screamed at the snow. She whirled on Spain. "SCREW YOU! TOMATO BASTARD FREAK PRINCE!"

Spain held his hands up defensively. "Whoa, Roma, I'm just here to help."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN HELP!"

Spain sighed. "Roma, have a tomato." And with that, he pulled a juicy red tomato from his pocket. "Here."

Roma grabbed the tomato and squashed it in front of his face. "THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU AND YOUR DAMN TOMATOS! I SWEAR, I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!"

And with that, she broke into song.

Because that's perfectly normal.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Gil - Prussia  
Switz - Switzerland  
Spain - Spain_

* * *

**And the moment you have all been waiting for awaits you next chapter.**

**That's right.**

**LET IT GO.**

**Thank you for all the nice reviews! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	7. Kill It All

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia or Frozen. Song lyrics belong to the awesome L. Zydenora, who is almost as awesome as Prussia.**

* * *

**And now, for the chapter you've all been waiting for... :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN

Meanwhile, Roma was shivering and dying from the cold. "SCREW THIS!" she screamed at the snow. She whirled on Spain. "SCREW YOU! TOMATO BASTARD FREAK PRINCE!"

Spain held his hands up defensively. "Whoa, Roma, I'm just here to help."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN HELP!"

Spain sighed. "Roma, have a tomato." And with that, he pulled a juicy red tomato from his pocket. "Here."

Roma grabbed the tomato and squashed it in front of his face. "THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU AND YOUR DAMN TOMATOS! I SWEAR, I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!"

And with that, she broke into song.

Because that's perfectly normal.

"I've gotta pull myself together,  
Stop my head from spinnin' please  
I can't stand with my frustration  
Don't care if my language is clean."

Spain smiled to himself at this, though listened intently to the rest of Roma's song.

"My mind is keeps spinning, all I know of has lied  
Couldn't stand the bastard, now he almost died…"

Spain squirmed awkwardly, nudging the snow with his foot.

"Don't let him in, things just can't be  
Staying this way, why can't he ever see  
Sealed lips, be real, don't give a [censored]  
But now I give a [censored]!"

_That made no sense, _thought Spain._  
_  
"Kill it all, Kill it all  
I can't stand this crap anymore!  
Kill it all, Kill it all  
I freakin' swear - this is war!

Leave me be  
Alone for a single day  
I don't care if it's fair,  
Don't know if it should bother me anyway."

Roma took a deep breath, as her face was all red, then continued. This was a lot more singing than she thought.

"It's funny why I ever  
Cared about him at all  
All the tears that kept me hidden  
Won't pull me down once more

Can't stop me now, can't hold me back  
Now I see what I've come to  
No crap, no pasta, no need to plea  
Now I can see!

Kill it all, Kill it all  
I'm gonna spread my wings and fly  
Kill it all, Kill it all  
All my love inside had died

Here I am  
Come at me bro!  
Let the bastards run on,  
Never freakin' cared anyway," Roma finished triumphantly.

Spain watched this entire show with a shocked look. Roma was certainly…excitable.

When Roma was little, he had always thought of her as a clumsy, stubborn, angry little girl. But for some reason unknown to him, he'd found her quirks adorable and absolutely sweet.

Why? He had no clue.

But after talking to his best friends, Francis and Gil, they had wheedled it down to one factor: love.

And now, after watching Roma destroy tomatoes and kick snow everywhere, he realized that he really did love Roma.

Roma caught that damn Spain bastard staring at her with a sappy look. "WHAT ARE YOU FREAKIN' LOOKING AT?!" she yelled, embarrassed by her outburst.

Spain gave her a big grin. "Nothing, chica!"

* * *

Feli rode up the mountainside on her pretty white horse. "Romaaaaaaaa!" Feli called out into the night. "Pastaaaaaaaa! Romaaaaaaaaa! Pastaaaaaaaaaa!"

Sadly, the Call of the Pasta did not work.

"Pastaaaaaaaa!" Feli tried one last time before falling off of the horse.

The horse quickly ran away, slightly frightened of the princess and her strange yelling.

"No!" wailed Feli, waving her arms at the horsie. "Come back, pony!"

But the pretty white horse had already disappeared.

Feli cried for a little bit, then dried her tears and looked around. To her mild surprise, she saw that a little log cabin was right behind her. "Pasta!" cried Feli in joy.

She skipped right up to the cabin, sending snow flying behind her.

BRAGINSKI'S HAPPY FRIEND CABIN

Feli read the sign, thinking how nice the cabin sounded before entering.

* * *

_Roma - Romano  
Feli - Italy  
Spain - Spain_

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, or followed this story. You guys are great! :D**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	8. Braginski's Happy Friend Cabin

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine. Frozen is not mine.**

* * *

_This chapter is dedicated to a friend who recently moved. They happen to ship GerIta. :) Nudge, nudge, hint, hint. :D_

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT

Feli beamed at the cabin. What a nice place this was!

She skipped down the aisle, peering at all of the merchandise. "Ve," the princess said happily.

"Can I be helping you?" came a light voice. It was a man sitting at the front desk. He had light gray-ish hair, purple eyes, and a large nose.

"Pasta~!" she cried. "I am in need of pasta!"

The man beamed. "We have Big Summer Blowout on Italian food!" With that, he pointed to a small table in the very back of the shop, covered in a single box of pasta.

"Oh, ve," said Feli in a small, disappointed voice.

The man stood up slowly, a dark purple aura slowly growing behind him. "You are disappointed?" he asked, eyes glowing and smile growing.

"No! No no no!" Feli squeaked out hurriedly. "Pasta, ve, pasta!"

The scary purple aura disappeared, and the man sat down and beamed. "My name is Ivan Braginski! Enjoy your visit! We have Soviet Spa if you get cold up here in mountains!"

Feli peered into the spa through a small window in the wooden door. One woman with oddly large boobs waved back at her cheerfully while another woman merely sulked in the corner, playing with a sharp knife. Three men shook in the corner, the smallest almost sobbing, and Feli saw that one of them was the guy helping the dressmaker, who was also in the spa and talking at the woman with the large boobs.

Thinking that that was all very odd, Feli turned away from the spa and looked at the box of pasta. Her brow furrowed at the price, but she figured anything in the name of pasta was good!

Suddenly, the door swung open. A tall man walked in, glowering and looking scary.

Feli burst into tears. "Don't hurt me!" she wailed. "I don't-a want to die! You're scary! I have relatives where you live! Pasta!"

The man paid her no heed, and walked up to Ivan. "I need five bottles of your best beer and twenty sausages."

Ivan stared the man down with his dark purple eyes. "You dare insult me like that?" he asked in an eerie voice. "Why would we make beer when we have secret recipe for vodka?"

Feli cried even harder. She was trapped with two scary men! And they only had one box of pasta!

The door to the spa opened, and shrieks could be heard. "I hate you!" screamed the woman with the knife, slamming the door in the face of the dressmaker and her friend, who were both wrapped in bright pink bathrobes.

"OMG!" said the dressmaker, clearly irritated. "I, like, was totally not calling you fat!"

Her friend tapped her on the shoulder. "Pol, be quiet! Ivan will hear you!" he whispered nervously.

But Ivan had already heard. "What did I tell you about fighting, Pol?" he asked, turning away from the tall scary man.

Feli watched this exchange with wide eyes. Uh oh!

Pol sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Not to. 'Cause it's bad."

"That's right!" Ivan chirped. "And what happens to people who do bad things?"

Pol twirled some of her chin length hair. "They, like, don't get to ride ponies."

"Da! No more pony riding for a week for you, Pol!" Ivan cheered happily.

"What?!" exclaimed the dressmaker. "But Natalya totally started it!"

Ivan's grin stretched further. "Natalya is my sister! She would never do that, right Liet?"

Liet, the dressmaker's friend, gave a shaky nod. "R-right, Mr. Braginski, sir!"

Then Feli noticed the tall scary man start moving towards the door with a bundle of sausages and two bottles of vodka.

Getting a crazy idea, Feli decided to commit her first crime. She snuck over to the table and sneakily grabbed the box of pasta. Just about to walk out the door after the tall, scary man, when -

"Hey, like, what are you doing?"

Feli turned around at the sound of the dressmaker's voice. "Ve...? Nothing!"

Ivan gave her a creepy smile. "Really?" Then his a dark purple aura appeared. "Where is my vodka?" he asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"I don't-a know!" Feli cried, tears streaming down her face. "It was the tall scary man!"

And with that, Ivan flung her out the door.

Feli went bouncing onto the thin layer of snow, still clutching her box of pasta. She sniffed, wiping at her tears.

Then she heard a voice singing. Curious, she walked closer to listen.

"Doggies are better than kittens,

Berlitz, don't you think that's true?"

* * *

_Feli - Italy_

_Ivan - Russia_

_Natalya - Belarus_

_Other Woman - Ukraine_

_Shaking Men - Estonia and Latvia_

_Liet - Lithuania_

_Pol - Poland_

_Tall, Scary Man - ?_

* * *

**Any guesses as to who the tall, scary man was? :D**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this story! :)**

**- InaginaryParchment**


	9. Doggies Are Better Than Kittens

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine. Frozen is not mine.**

**As always, song lyrics belong to the wonderful L. Zydenora! :D**

**Thank you so much to CheshireCatwithaBlackHat for Beta-ing this chapter! :)**

* * *

CHAPTER 9

Feli stood outside of the small wooden shack in the middle of nowhere. It was very small, and very wooden, and it was covered in a thin layer of snow. The princess herself was ankle deep in the snow, her slippered feet slowly freezing.

However, Feli pressed her ear to the door to hear a man sing.

"Doggies are better zan kittens

Berlitz, don't you zink it's true?"

"Yes, kittens are dumb 'cuz zey simply don't have a clue,

Every one of em's bad, it's true!" The tall, scary man sang this in a silly voice that made Feli giggle. She also heard a dog bark merrily in return - probably Berlitz?

"Zat's my boy!

But kittens are calmer than doggies

Berlitz, am I right?

"Sadly you are, but a fun attitude's great!" Again, that silly voice!

"You've got zat, let's call it a night!

GUTE NACHT!"

Feli squeaked and jumped a little when the tall, scary man yelled that last part in a strange language. It reminded her of Prince Gil, for whatever reason. Maybe the lack of pasta was going to her head.

Suddenly, it was completely quiet. Then footsteps thudded all the way to the door. Feli scooted back hurriedly, frightened that the tall, scary man was coming for her.

BAM!

Feli screamed as the wooden door flew open and the tall, scary man glared down at her. "Vhat do you vant?" he demanded, crossing his arms in an intimidating fashion.

"I like your-a silly voice," Feli told him honestly, shaking from fear.

The tall, scary man stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" Feli exclaimed, now indignant instead of terrified. "I do!"

The tall, scary man continued to stare at her.

Feli stared back.

They continued to stare for a very long time.

...stare...

* * *

Meanwhile, a young man and woman were trudging through the crisp mountain snow in their frivolous clothing.

"DAMN YOU!" Roma yelled at Spain, tears of frustration glimmering in her eyes. "If you weren't so freakin' annoying, I wouldn't be in this situation! I'm hungry, and cold, and tired, and I HATE YOU!"

Spain didn't bat an eyelash. "Roma, calm down. Here," he said while pulling his thick red jacket off. "Here, take my jacket, mi amor." He offered out the jacket, shaking it in front of Roma's stubborn face.

Roma snatched the jacket away from the prince. "What the hell does 'mi amor' mean?!"

"It means 'my darling' in my kingdom's beautiful tongue," the prince practically sang, grinning like an idiot.

"Don't call me your freakin' darling again or I swear I'll squash every one of your damn tomatoes," Roma spat, wrapping the jacket around herself.

Spain gave a hearty laugh. "Oh, I bet you would."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"Nothing, mi amoro, nothing."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME YOUR FREAKIN' DARLING!" Roma yelled, wrapping the large red jacket around herself.

Spain laughed even more and sat down in the thin layer of snow covering the mountains. Starting to feel cold in only his white dress shirt, he started rubbing his arms in an attempt to stay warm.

If Roma noticed he was cold, she didn't say anything. She just stood there, the Pasta Box of Bad Things held tight in her grip and jacket keeping her warm.

* * *

Meanwhile, Feli was still staring at the tall, scary man.

The man finally sighed. "Seriously, vhat do you vant?"

"Pastaaaaa!" she cheered.

"I don't have pasta," the man said flatly. "I don't have wurst or beer eizher."

Feli grinned. "And I don't-a have-a money! But I do have-a pastaaaa!" She held up the pasta box of bad things.

Then she realized how cold she was. She had been trekking on a horse through the night with only a ball gown and a thin cape. Feli shivered slightly.

The tall, scary man still stared down at her, frowning. "Vhat is your point?"

Feli smiled nervously. "I'll help you steal-a the wurst and beer if you help me steal a jacket and find-a my sister!"

The man nodded slowly. "Zat could vork," he admitted. "Just let me get my colleague..."

Feli titled her head. "Colleague?"

"KIKU! VE HAVE A JOB!"

"Kiku?" Feli whimpered, nervous. Who was Kiku?!

A small, dark haired man with soulless brown eyes emerged in front of the door. "Konichiwa," he said, bowing slightly. "I am Kiku Honda from the smarr isrand of Japan."

"And I am Ludd Beil of zis kingdom, actually," the tall, scary man said. "Together, we make ze Axis Powers."

"Axis Powers? What-a are that?" Feli asked, more curious than scared now.

Ludd shrugged. "Ve do anyzhing, from job like zhese to normal jobs."

"How-a come you have-a never been caught?"

Kiku gave her a grim look. "Because we have me."

"...what-a does-a that mean?"

Kiku gave her a grim look.

Feli looked at him through her strangely closed eyes.

Kiku still had his grim look.

"We seem to-a do a lot of staring, ve~!"

Ludd looked strangely irritated. "Vat did you say your name vas, again?"

"Feli Vargas!"

Kiku's eyes widened. "Not the princess, surery!"

"Nope! I'm-a the princess!"

Ludd seemed shocked, mouth gaping slightly. "Nein..." he whispered, horrified.

"And you want to rob someone?" the Japanese man asked.

"Yep! Pastaaa!" Feli was still smiling cheerfully.

Ludd blinked.

Kiku blinked.

Feli blinked.

"We seem-a to be doing a lot of blinking too, ve~!"

* * *

_Feli - Italy_

_Ludd - Germany_

_Roma - Romano_

_Spain - Spain_

_Kiku - Japan_

* * *

**Thank you to all who have reviewed! And favorited! And followed! And read! Your support is amazing and makes me happy! ;)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	10. Ludd is a Sorceror!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Frozen. :)**

* * *

_QUICK NOTE_

_To *Guardian-of-Insanity*: I haven't forgotten Alfred or Matthew, never fear! It's not that I don't like them that I didn't put them in the main roles, it's because Alfred is filling in a better spot... You'll see next chapter. :)_

* * *

CHAPTER 10

"So, ve are going to steal from ze cabin?"

"Hai," answered Kiku. "But what styre?"

Feli frowned, eyes squinched tight, deep in thought. "I was-a thinking we were-a going to have me go-a in while-a Ludd and Kiku stole the pasta!"

Ludd and Kiku stared at her.

"I meant steal-a the wurst and beer," Feli changed quickly, beaming. "And the clothes."

"Hai," Kiku said again, eyes dead.

"Why-a do your eyes look-a dead?" Feli asked Kiku.

"Because I am a Japanese man," he answered.

Ludd sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ivan was sitting in his Happy Friend Cabin. "Yoohoo! Family!" he called.

Katyusha came out of the spa with her sister, Natalya. "Yes, Brother?" Katyusha was wearing a white blouse and plain blue overalls, and Natalya wore a puffy blue dress with white ruffles (she was the spoiled one).

Pol and Liet had also dressed, Pol in a totally fabulous pink dress and Liet in a plain forest green shirt and brown pants. "I wanna, like, ride ponies!" Pol whined, twirling her hair. "Ponies are totally fab! Not like a certain someone..." At this, she glared at Ivan.

Liet tapped Pol on her shoulder nervously. "Pol, not again!"

Ivan ignored them, and instead turned to Eston and Raivis. "You two! Stand guard outside, I am thinking the tall man will come back. And the creepy pasta girl."

"But why must we stand guard?" questioned Raivis, oblivious to Ivan's bad mood.

Ivan gave him a creepy grin, pink scarf blowing around mysteriously. "Because I tell you to... Kolkolkolkol..."

Eston grabbed the two black and maroon coats hanging on the coat tree and dragged Raivis out the door, furiously whispering in his ear about how stupid he had been.

"Dang it," thought Liet mournfully. "Eston's brilliance has allowed him to escape once again."

Ivan suddenly turned around to stare at Pol, who was inspecting her nails. "Pol, stay in the closet. Liet, watch her. Mother Russia doesn't want you to be ruining the plans..." Ivan suddenly got a creepy smile and terrifying gleam in his eyes.

Liet nodded, eyes wide in terror and practically dragging his best friend into the storage closet. (No, they did not do anything. Don't give me that look. This is a kid's movie! Sort of.)

Pol whined the whole way. "But, like, why? And, like, who's Mother Russia?"

Creak... SLAM.

Katyusha tapped her brother on his shoulder. "Brother, what do we do?"

"I am needing you two to distract them if they come back," Ivan told his sisters in a dangerously sweet voice. "And I am thinking they will..."

Natalya nodded. "I have knives."

When she addressed him, Ivan lost the dangerous gleam, gave a terrified squeak, and hid under his desk.

* * *

The Axis - plus Feli - were kneeling on the cold, wet snow outside the window of the Happy Friend Cabin.

"You taking notes?" Ludd asked Kiku.

"Hai." Kiku was indeed taking notes - literally. He had a notepad and pen with him and was scribbling things down in Japanese.

"Ooh, what-a does it say?" Feli asked, peeking over Kiku's shoulder.

The Japanese man scooted away from Feli. "I need my personar space. Prease don't touch me."

Ludd forcefully tugged Feli away from Kiku.

"Werr, my notes say that there are two weak men standing guard. The store owner is inside with his sisters, one of which has knives and the other has boobs." Kiku's face turned bright red. "And there are two peopre in the croset."

"Ve~, that sounds good!"

"There's more," Kiku added. "The shop owner is afraid of his rittre sister."

"Ja, zat is good," Ludd said, impressed. "Ve can use her as a distraction if need be."

Kiku nodded.

"Ve~," said Feli in a tone that sounded almost mock-serious.

"So, are we ready to rorr?" Kiku asked, standing up.

"Roar? Why would we roar?" Ludd was rather surprised.

Kiku's face turned red. "Not roar, rorr."

"But that's-a what you just said!" Feli exclaimed.

Kiku buried his face in his hands and mumbled something.

"Vhat? You love tuna?" Ludd asked, confused.

The Japanese man stood up straight and walked into the cabin.

Shrugging, Ludd stood and held his hand out to Feli. "Ready?"

"Pasta!" Feli took Ludd's hand and pulled herself out. "Grazi!"

Ludd turned bright red. "It's fine." He walked closer to the cabin, then paused, turning around to face the princess. "Are you sure you vant to come?"

Feli nodded firmly. "Pasta."

And with that, they joined Kiku, who was talking to the blonde man with the glasses.

"Mr. -"

"Eston. That's Raivis."

"Mr. Eston," started Kiku. "I need to go into this cabin. I am very cord, and I am afraid I wirr freeze."

The shorter man, Raivis, gave Kiku a nervous smile. "P-please, come r-right in!"

Eston shushed Raivis, eyeing Kiku warily. "You're by yourself?"

Kiku nodded, expression carefully blank. Because faces can be sloppily blank, of course.

"Fine." Eston stepped to the side, allowing the Japanese man to pass through.

"Domo arigato," Kiku said, stepping between the two men and opening the door which jingled a tiny gold bell.

"Ok," whispered Ludd. "Enter, saying zat I forced you to steal ze pasta and zat you are hiding from me, ja?"

Feli nodded, determined.

"Zen go!"

The princess scurried off, sprinting to Eston and Raivis. "Help!" she wailed. "The tall, scary man is-a coming for me!"

"U-uh oh!" Raivis hurried to rush inside, but Eston grabbed the back of his maroon coat.

"Raivis, that's the pasta thief! Ivan said to not let her in!"

"B-but the t-tall, s-scary man is coming!" Raivis pleaded.

Eston now looked worried. "Maybe we should go..."

"Yes!" said Feli with a sloppily blank look (told you). "Let us go inside!"

Raivis threw open the door and kept inside, quickly followed by Feli and Eston.

But when they got in, Natalya had a knife to Kiku's throat and Katyusha, strangely enough, was sobbing into a handkerchief.

Ivan gave Feli his signature creepy grin. "So, what now, little girl?"

"Uh..." Feli had a sloppily blank look again.

Just then, Ludd burst through the door, brandishing a large stick and was wearing...glasses?

"Stick your hands in ze air!" he yelled, turning his branch on Natalya. "I am ze Spectacles Bandit, feared by all who live in ze Kingdom of Italia! If you do not give up my colleagues, your wurst and bee- vodka, and clothes, I vill use my magical powers on your family, Ivan Braginski!"

"Whoa!" thought Feli in amazement. "Luddy is a wizard? I didn't know that!"

Katyusha gasped. "Brother, how does he know your name?"

Ivan turned pale. "I do not know," he admitted. "He must be a sorcerer!"

Natalya snorted, though even she looked doubtful. "Prove it," she shot at Ludd. "Perform some magic."

Ludd smirked, which Feli thought was an odd look for him. "Very well."

He tapped his stick on the ground, hard, three times. Then Ludd took a large swipe at the wooden wall to his left.

Suddenly, something heavy fell on the roof, shaking the walls.

Natalya looked frightened. "What was that?"

Ludd closed his eyes, raising his arms in the air. "I have called upon the ice powers!" he cried. "I will put this cabin into deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep snow!"

Ivan put his hands up in surrender. "Take all of our stuff! Just don't unleash your powers!"

Katyusha burst into loud tears as Natalya let go of Kiku. The Axis plus Feli grabbed their wanted items before heading out the cabin.

As soon as they got a reasonable distance from the cabin, Feli turned to Ludd and asked, "Are you really magical?"

Kiku gave a small smile. "Of course he isn't."

"Not even 1%," Ludd told Feli, also smiling slightly.

The three of them stopped walking for a moment. "So, is this where we reave each other?" Kiku questioned.

Feli beamed. "Actually, I need-a help with one more thing."

Ludd and Kiku looked at her expectantly.

"Can you-a help-a me find-a my sister?"

* * *

_Feli - Italy_

_Ludd - Germany_

_Kiku - Japan_

_Ivan - Russia_

_Katyusha - Ukraine_

_Natalya - Belarus_

_Eston - Estonia_

_Raivis - Latvia_

* * *

**Wow, that was the longest chapter I've ever written, ever! XD **

**Since there have been a few questions regarding the names chosen for the characters, I would like to say that in the beginning of the story, I warned you all that I would be changing up the names for the fun of it. :) That's my only excuse. XD**

**Hope you enjoyed! Thank you all for supporting me and my story! :)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


	11. Alf the Hobbo and Pasta

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me, and neither does Frozen!**

**Song lyrics were created by my seriously talented friend, L. Zydenora, who really isn't serious at all. :)**

* * *

"Your sister?" Ludd looked at Feli in surprise. "Ze queen?"

"Yep! She ran away and I have to go-a find her!" Feli explained.

"Why wourd she run away?" questioned Kiku. "Is she not happy?"

Feli's eyes watered up. "She has-a all the pasta she wants, but she-a tried to kill Spain with pasta!"

"Queen Roma tried to destroy an entire kingdom vith a box of pasta?" Ludd asked, surprised.

"No, just the prince," Feli explained, eyes still wet. "I don't-a get it!"

Kiku looked Ludd, who looked back him. Then they looked back at Feli. Then at each other. Then at Feli.

"Ve'll help you," Ludd said as Kiku said, "We'rr think about it."

Ludd gave Kiku a look. "I'm going vith her. You do vhat you zink is best."

Kiku stared at the snow-covered ground, appearing deep in thought despite his expressionless face.

Feli beamed and tackled/hugged Ludd. "Grazigrazigrazigrazigrazigrazi!"

Ludd patted her awkwardly on the back. "Ehm, yes, vell, I couldn't let you go on your own. You'd probably die or somezing."

"Yeah, I probably would," Feli agreed happily, still hugging Ludd. "Ah, pasta..."

"Did someone say 'pasta'?" asked an annoyingly obnoxious voice.

Kiku gave a small groan, rolling into a ball and covering his face.

"Vhat..."

A young man with excited blue eyes and tousled dirty-blonde hair burst into the clearing where Ludd, Feli, and Kiku were. "I heard you steal from that dirty commie, Ivan!" said the young man. "You guys are heroes!"

"Heroes?" Feli asked, head tilted to the side.

"Yeah! Ivan cheats everyone by putting everything as overpriced," the man informed Feli. "He's a total commie."

"What's a commie?" Ludd asked the young man.

"I don't know!" he exclaimed. "But I love pasta! Do you have pasta?"

"No," said Kiku, speaking finally. "Go away, Alf."

The young man gave Kiku his best puppy eyes. "Please?"

"Go away."

"But I want pasta..."

"You've never had pasta!" Kiku exclaimed.

Ludd stared at Kiku because he'd never heard Kiku raise his voice. Feli stared at Kiku because she was shocked that someone had never had pasta.

The young man, Alf, adjusted his thick brown jacket. "Well," he said sadly. "I guess I'll just go now..." He turned around and began to walk away slowly.

"Don't go!" Feli cried. "I'll give you pasta!"

Alf turned around hopefully. "Really?"

"Of course!" Feli bustled around, getting out pots and pans from behind random rocks. Then she started a fire all by herself in a matter of seconds.

Kiku and Ludd stared at her. Then sat down on a log, not sure what else to do.

As Feli started cooking the pasta, Alf squished between the two Axis powers and talked a mile a minute. "I really want to try pasta! I've been eating burgers my whole life. I like burgers. I also like warm hugs. But only sometimes. Sometimes hugs are awkward. Ahahahaha!"

Kiku hid his face shamefully. "Alf..."

Alf laughed and slapped the Japanese man's back, causing him to lurch forward. "Dude, you're so funny!"

Kiku rubbed his back and shook his head. "No."

"Do you two know each ozher?" Ludd asked Alf and Kiku.

"Yep!" Alf answered. "Dude, we're best buds!"

"Really?" Ludd didn't seem so sure.

"Yep!"

"How'd you two meet?"

Alf paused, thinking. "A month ago, I was walking through the forest and I was hungry and Kiku gave me a ball of rice. It was yummy! And then he gave me another and we talked about his island home place and we never saw each other again!" Alf grinned. "Until today! Dude, Kiku's awesome!"

Kiku buried his face again.

"You know what else I like," announced Alf suddenly. "Singing!" He cleared his throat dramatically.

"Steam will rise, the smell floating through the summer sky

And I'll just be eating and having a good time

I'll enjoy every bite - I love everything, no need to deny

Prob'ly having the best time ever like I'm in junior high!"

"You went to schoor?" Kiku asked doubtfully.

"Aw, hush it, he's singing," Feli shushed, smiling at Alf.

Alf continued to sing obliviously.

"I'll finally get to taste a bit, of what pasta really is.

I love it so much, I wanna give it a kiss!"

Ludd gagged slightly. "Kiss pasta?"

Feli shushed him while pouring pasta noodles into the boiling water of one of her pots.

"And I can't wait to see, what my buddies all think of me!"

He has friends? Kiku was mildly shocked.

"Just think of how much better things are with pasta!

"Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bwah bwah bwah bwah boo!

"Cheese and tomatoes are both so intense,

Put 'em together it just makes sense!"

"It-a does!" Feli agreed excitedly.

"Rrr raht da daht dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo

American food won't give me muscle,

Give me pasta and I won't be trouble!"

"What is American food?" Kiku wondered aloud.

"When life gets mushed, I like to grip on to my thoughts," Alf continued. "Of taking the time to enjoy buttered sardines..."

"Is that Italian food?" Ludd muttered.

"I don't-a think so…sounds-a good," Feli commented.

"My life has come through, and you all will be there too

When I for once get a bit of Italian pastaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Alf took a bow. "Thank you, thank you!"

Feli was the only one who applauded enthusiastically - Kiku clapped out of necessary politeness, Ludd didn't at all.

* * *

Back in Feli and Roma's kingdom, Prince Gil was having a fine - sorry, awesome time drinking in the throne room.

"Anozer beer!" he ordered from his purple satin chair. "And make it awesome!"

A servant bowed and scurried away.

Duke Francis and his friend sat with the prince. "Ah, mon ami, do you not think it wise to go after Roma? She is a dangerous criminal!"

"Shut up, you wanker!" the Duke's friend seethed.

Francis ignored him. "I am ignoring you, Angleterre!"

Angleterre turned red in the face. "I told you not to use my full name! It's stupid!"

"Ah, I do not think so!" Francis countered, tossing his pretty hair and forgetting that he was ignoring his "friend".

Prince Gil snapped his fingers lazily. "Stop arguing, you're all so not-awesome. Ooh, beer!"

The servant had returned and gave the prince-acting-king his mug of golden beer.

Gil downed a whole mouthful and wiped the foam from his lips. "So, you're going to chase ze queen?"

Francis was taken aback. "I meant, perhaps you could send your men after Roma? Feli might be in trouble... You do care for ze princess, do you not?"

"Yeah, yeah," Gil said flippantly, gulping down some beer. "Go after her. She's cute."

"Who, Roma or Feli?" Angleterre asked Gil.

The prince shrugged and drank the rest of his beer before passing out.

Francis took Angleterre by his arm. "Let us go, mon ami!"

"Don't call me that either!"

"Then what do I call you?" Francis asked with a laugh.

"Don't do your 'honhonhon' thing, that's creepy," ordered Angleterre. "And just call me Terre! I've told you before!"

Francis did the creepy laugh thing again and dragged Terre out the door.

* * *

_Feli - Italy_

_Kiku - Japan_

_Ludd - Germany_

_Alf - America! :)_

_Francis - France_

_Terre - England_

_Gil - Prussia_

* * *

**I've personally never had buttered sardines. c:**

**Thanks a ton to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, or followed this story! You guys are awesomer than the awesome Prussia! :D (Don't tell him I said that though. XD)**

**- ImaginaryParchment**


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